Owning your voice, acknowledging your worth and living a life that you are proud of. That’s part of my definition of being authentic, which is how you celebrate your worth. And that’s what I want to talk about today.
More and more people share with me, the struggle they have with standing up for themselves. Whether it be with a family member, a neighbor, a co-worker, even a spouse or child… it can be overwhelming, and yes, even scary, to stand up and speak our truth.
Why does it feel so huge and unthinkable..?
Somewhere along the way, someone(s) made you feel as if your voice was unimportant. Someone told you, your truth “didn’t matter”, “you talk too much” or that you just needed to “be quiet”. I can relate.
Growing up, I remember a cousin of mine, telling me “You sure do talk a lot”. I don’t remember exactly how old I was, maybe around 7 or 8. But she was an older cousin and I looked up to her at the time. Even though she probably meant no harm, I was being a Chatty Kathy child who was interrupting her and her friends, and those words tore through my heart. I felt embarrassed, stupid, and I felt as If what I had to say didn’t matter.
I was already a shy child, and those words pushed me further into my own private shell. As I got older, more experiences with family and friends, continued to reaffirm to me that my voice didn’t matter. That I was a nobody and just needed to shut up and go sit in the corner.
Can you identify with that? Was your voice stifled, were you made to feel unimportant?
Well let me tell you, YOU MATTER AND SO DOES YOUR VOICE! This is a wisdom that took me years to appreciate and accept as truth. I was going into my 20’s when I finally had enough and said to hell with everyone. I decided to speak up and be heard. I decided to let my voice ring out loud and be bold. Now, don’t let me sugar coat it, it wasn’t a cake walk. However it was easier the more I owned my voice. I got up every day and made a conscious decision that no matter what, I would speak up for myself. Whether it was in conversation with a friend, a classmate in college, an instructor, a family member, etc… everyone got a piece of my mind. LOL!
It wasn’t always pretty either. I said the wrong thing plenty of times. I pissed people off. People yelled at me. People dismissed me. And some people applauded me and celebrated me. I mean, to be completely honest, sometimes I wanted to turn tail and go hide. But I didn’t, I continued to stand up, even when it didn’t feel good. I wished I had learned the lesson as a teen. Maybe I could have avoided some unnecessary hard lessons, however, I’m glad I learned it and I continue to grow wiser in it the older I get.
Why am I sharing this..?
Because, you need to know, you’re not alone.
I’ve been working on owning my voice for a long time, it’s not something you do, one and done. Owning your voice is a lesson that grows with you and so is finding your authentic self and celebrating yourself. You find your voice where you are, get comfortable, and then you grow some more. You continue to level up, you continue to learn, you continue to get comfortable in your own skin. It’s a process. It’s a journey. It’s worth it!
So how do you do it..?
I’m glad you asked, lol! Well, to be honest, it looks different for every individual and it’s up to you, to incorporate the things that support you and help you on this journey. So I want to share some tips with you, to encourage you and inspire you to own your voice, to be authentic and to truly celebrate your worth. Pick the ones that resonate for you. Try them out and if they don’t fit, dive back in and try something else. It’s not a one size fits all. Life is beautiful in part because it’s so unique for each of us. And you don’t have to mimic or be a mini-me to anyone else.
Ways to own your voice and celebrate your AUTHENTIC & BADASS self! Celebrate your WORTH!
1. Every morning, start off by affirming yourself. Remind yourself of the truth, that you are divine and beautifully created. The world needs to hear what you have to say.
2. Use positive affirmations and/or incantations. Pick some of the ones that resonate with you that you’ve heard from others or create your own. One of the main ingredients to positive affirmations and incantations is to focus on positive and present tense. Let go of focusing on what you don’t like or want. Focus on what you do want, focus on how you want to feel, focus on present tense. For example: I give myself permission to speak my truth. Or, I am thankful now that I can acknowledge and honor my own voice.
3. Practice the conversation. If you need to speak to someone about an uncomfortable subject, take time to practice the conversation and your thoughts before you broach the conversation with them. The mirror is a great place to talk and build yourself up. To look into your own eyes and empower yourself.. Giving yourself time and space to process your thoughts and figure out what you want to say can be huge and have a positive impact when it comes time to speak.
4. Choose a safe person, be it a counselor, coach, best-friend, parent, etc whom you can safely talk with. Ask them to just listen w/o interruption. Use the time to speak about anything bothering you, that you can’t yet voice to the person involved. Let out everything on your mind. Weed through it and figure out what’s most important that you want to say to someone else. Use the time to build your confidence and trust in yourself that you can then take those words and say them to the intended person.
5. Write your thoughts. Often we struggle to find our voice because there’s so many voices sounding in our head all at the same time. You may be replaying an argument from last night, a bad conversation from last week, or even a dialogue from 20 years ago. Add to that, all the other people in your life who just have to give you their personal opinion about you and your life, you might find yourself feeling pretty overwhelmed sometimes. Writing can be another safe way to vent, to process what you think and feel, to weed out the important things you need to speak up about.
I’ll stop there for now,but I’ll probably do another blog article soon and add a few more ideas. I might even jump on and do a video! 🙂
Every day, take steps to own and honor your voice. It’s not that you wont have fear and anxiety sometimes, just give yourself space to feel the emotions and then speak anyway! Because… YOU are a BADASS and…. YOU are WORTH IT!
Want more support in letting your voice ring loud? I’m here to hold space for you and help you to acknowledge and honor your worth.
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