I’ve been quiet the last almost 3 months. I needed to be still, listen, heal, enjoy and grow. I needed to take in and understand the lessons and blessings that came through the heartache of loss. I needed to love on me.
I needed to be angry. To feel the rage and disappointment. I needed to find my voice in all of the choking emotion and let down. I needed to just be real. To feel the pain of a broken heart, the heartache of what if. To let go of all the future moments I though we’d have.
Fortunately there are a lot of women who’ll never know the pain of miscarriage. However, sadly, there are many of us who do. Who live through loss after loss and live the struggle of getting past it, healing and living life again. Each time feeling like a little piece of us is gone.
I wasn’t even sure if I would talk about it openly. Then I realized, part of my HealingOne journey has been built on my own transparency. Sharing my experiences to help encourage others. I’m still figuring out what I want to share. I do know that it’s part of my own healing and I know that it’ll help other beautiful souls as well.
So for today I say…
Beautiful woman, you are still worthy. You’re still worthy to love and be loved. You are worthy of healing. You are worthy to grieve, to release and process however you need to. You are worthy of all the time it takes to move forward. You are worthy to think about the future moments you thought you’d have, and to be angry about it.
You’re worthy to feel the emotions and give yourself time to process them. You’re worthy to forgive your body and know that it wasn’t your fault. You’re worthy to dream again and figure out in your own way how to move forward. You’re worthy of whatever it is you want and need in order to get through a moment no woman ever wants to experience. Most of all, you’re worthy to find the new you. Because yes, you’ve changed. You’re not the same anymore. You’re not oblivious to the pain that hits you at your core. But you don’t have to stay there. In your own timing, in your own way, you find the right rythym that breathes new life into your heart and soul.
I say from my heart and spirit to yours, you’re not alone and you are worthy. That’s it for now. Just know that this fellow badass is walking it out day by day and finding my new normal. And you can too.
HealingOne & fellow badass,