A Healer guides, they do not pull or force… Healing is LOVE. ~~Jasmine Balom/HealingOne
Why do I say that?
Because I often connect with people who will complain in my inbox for hours, days or longer. Not because they just want to be miserable, sometimes that’s just what they’re used to. Yet, they get upset when I stop placating them and choose to respect my time and energy.
I start by trying to kindly connect, listening and sharing insight if they are open to listen to it. I’m always willing to share love. However I don’t force my thoughts or ideas. I don’t bully. I don’t beg.
I’m not writing this post to shame or call anyone out, however to offer a different perspective. It’s not the healers job to heal you. The healer is simply a channel, a conduit to help facilitate the space, energy, connection and support that you need in order to tap into your own amazingness.
YOU MIGHT BE LIKE, WTF?
I go to the dentist and they clean my teeth. Or I go to a restaurant and they prepare my food. Why isn’t the healer, healing Me?
Healing is a personal, inside job. It can only happen from within. The healer can’t live in your body or mind, only you can do that. That being said, the dentist can’t go home with you and brush your teeth. The restaurant prepares your food but they don’t stand at your table to make sure you eat it or follow you home to make sure your leftovers are eaten and not thrown away.
They simply facilitate the process. The dentist cleans your teeth and addresses any emergencies, they give you knowledge and empower you to go home and keep your teeth and mouth healthy. The restaurant prepares your food, but it’s up to you to make sure you eat and enjoy it, taste the flavors and allow your digestive system to work properly and use the food as fuel.
Can you see the healer in a new light now?
The healer listens, may offer intuitive guidance, healing energy, accountability, and whatever other modalities they work within to provide guidance and support. However it is your job, your responsibility to use the information, to take it in and use it in whatever way is best for you. And if you don’t, that’s ok too, you just don’t have a right to be angry and take it out on the healer.
Are you angry with your dentist if they clean your teeth and get you tip top shape, and then you fall and break a tooth? No, the dentist didn’t make you fall, however they can help fix the tooth if you go back and work with them. It doesn’t negate the previous work they did, it just means there’s a new thing to address.
It’s the same with healing. It’s not a one and done. You can’t talk in the inbox, email, comment on posts, or even have one session and expect everything to be fixed and perfect. Healing is a process. You work on things as they come up. You can identify root issues or mindset blocks. You can use different ideas, assignments and ways to facilitate your healing with their support. However when something new pops up, it doesn’t mean they didn’t help you, it simply means it’s something newly discovered that can now be addressed.
WHY AM I WRITING THIS POST?
Because I’ve had so many people complain to me in the inbox about their other coaches and healers. And it makes me look sideways. You don’t want to pay me and work with me, yet you want to use my time to complain about the person(s) you are paying.
OR, they say they want to work with me, but can’t afford it. Then I see a post pop up on my wall about how they just bought this, that or the other. Then come back to me asking for a discount. Nope! Because you pay for what you want and invest in what you desire.
OR, they do a little work with me, think it’s supposed to be a magical cure, and then when their next challenge pops up, they want to fus about the healing meditation, energy, session, etc not being effective. And honestly, half the time they didn’t even use it or follow the assignment or instructions.
And so many other ways that people try to reduce healers because of inward insecurities. This is not finger pointing, this is honesty. And honestly, I’ve been there, until I did the work on me years ago, to understand that I was worth investing in myself. Not only financially, but time and energy. Believing in me, to do the work consistently.
(Most of my coaching friends have the same or similar experiences with clients or potential clients)
So I got super intentional about connecting with people I feel GOOD working with.
I used the examples of the dentist and restaurant because most people utilize both on a regular or semi-regular basis. And guess what, you’re not getting either one for free, especially the restaurant. And most likely you’re not in their facility trying to guilt them or make them feel bad. You pay for the service or food and respect their craft. But let’s go a little further.
If you visit or utilize…
Barbershop or hair salon
Local spa or gym
Perfume or cologne
And the many other ways you spend your money, as you have a right to do.
Let’s go further…
You show up at your job and EXPECT to get paid, right? I’m pretty sure you’d look real crazy, and most likely want to act real crazy if you’re boss came to you and said, we want you to do your full 40 hours this week, but we decided we don’t want to pay you full salary, so we’re only going to give you 30% of what we told you we would pay you.
You’ve still got bills right? Responsibilities? A family? Things you committed to doing or want to do with your money, you’re expected income, right?
HEALERS DO TOO!
So I ask you this question, WHY do you devalue the healer or expect them to do more for you than anyone else does, for FREE or REDUCED prices?
If someone wants to help you, let them. But don’t EXPECT them to, and especially for free, just because you don’t value their gifts or services. And here’s a real truth… It’s not that you don’t really value their service, the deeper truth is that you don’t see the value in investing in it for yourself. There’s a disconnect in the value you see within. Because going to the dentist, the restaurant or any of the examples I used above, is no better or more important than if you choose to work with a coach/healer.
It’s all about what you feel you need. What’s most important for and within YOU. And the truth is if you want others to value you, you must value you, and you must value them.
If I see a coach or healer I want to work with and I’m not yet ready or in a position to pay their price, I don’t make it their fault. I do what’s necessary to make the money to pay them. I don’t devalue them by expecting them to do everything for me for free.
HEALERS already struggle with charging for their gifts. I’m being completely honest with you here. We feel guilty. Because if we’re spiritual, we’re supposed to help everyone, right? WRONG! Again, it’s the same as anyone else doing their job. The teacher uses their gifts to educate. The Dr uses their gifts to help treat medical issues. The Gardner uses their gifts to care for your lawn. And they all deserve to be paid. 😊
(To go even deeper… it’s not even the gifts we are charging for… it’s our TIME. That is really what any job pays you for. the TIME you are using to give or share or provide your experience, expertise and help).
HEALERS shouldn’t feel bad or be made to feel guilty for charging for their gifts. It’s their business, career, job, gifts, just like every other profession. And everyone has a right to charge what they want. If you think they charge too much, go find someone else to work with. You don’t want anyone showing up to your job haggling you over your salary do you? Right.
You make your money and then you use it to pay for what you want. If you don’t want to pay the healer, don’t. Go find something or someone else. If you want to work with them, then honor their gifts and work just like you do everything else and everyone else you pay.
PLEASE understand, this post is not directed at any specific person or situation. Simply an attempt to educate and empower. If you are offended, maybe it’s something you can take a deeper look at. If you’re screaming hell yeah, lol, then keep passing it on and educating.
I LOVE what I do, doesn’t mean I want to do it for free. It’s my gift, however it’s also my job. So I had to learn to respect it, to honor it. Many think I’m mean or cold or rude. I’m not, I just finally got to a place of healing within me to honor who and what I am. The same as I do for every other person around me. And I expect the same of others. And I choose not to feel guilty anymore, because its not my job to help every person. I help those who I’m here to help, and they are the people who respect me and my gifts, whether it’s in a free or paid service. It’s my choice when I want to do something for free. And when I choose to not do it for free. As it is every person’s right. 🙂
SO MY FINAL POINT AND QUESTION…
Whether you are the healer or the person wanting to work with a healer… how can you GIVE and RECEIVE more HONOR and RESPECT today for what you have to give, and for what you want to receive?🤔😊